18 Days

It's been awhile since my last post, this would be due to the sickness the enveloped my harmonious home. But I'm happy to say everyone is on the mends. It has been 18 days since my last ciggy and surprisingly I don't feel the need to slaughter anyone or anything. I think I have reached a pinnacle here, don't get me wrong I still crave a smoke, just not quite as often....Thank god. I told myself that if I finally did it and was able to quit smoking that I would not...let me repeat that..would not become one of "those" ex-smokers. You know exactly the ones I am referring to, the ones that go on and on and on about how they don't smoke anymore and spout off all those damn horrifying statistics and try to make you feel like the gum stuck to the bottom of someones shoe...well, I will not become one of them. Now I am quite proud of myself really I am but I would be lying if I didn't say that I loved smoking, I did! there is something to be said about drinking a cold delicious brew and having a smoke. Shit it's f----ing awesome I thoroughly enjoyed it. But as you get older you start to see things a bit differently I guess. You know that smoking is bad for you, and that eventually it could or will kill you, stupid nicotine, but they had to go market it, make it look cool and get us all hooked on the goods. Truth is I don't even remember why I started smoking in the first place....knowing me it was probably just to piss someone else off... Till next time....

Day 10,

Ok well we've reached double digits and by now you may thinking oh, they must be home free now, I mean c'mon 10 days you must be on the up and up...Right? WRONG!!!!! oh so so so so WRONG! Day 10 can go suck it, I was feeling like a rockstar yesterday I wake up this morning and BAM! the nicotine train of despair came and did a hit and run on my sorry a--. you ever see a cute kid at the park on a warm sunny day eating an ice cream cone, just completely enjoying himself, not a care in the world? and then he goes in for a lick and... plop his ice cream falls right on the ground, and that awful sad little look they make without even knowing it? Today I am that sad little kid with no ice cream... just an empty angry waffle cone.

Day 8

Well the weekend was tough no question, it's amazing the reasons you find to try and smoke, like damn the dog is pissing me off I think I need to smoke or s--- the cat puked on the carpet I need to smoke, I folded all the laundry I need to smoke! see tons of reasons but if I may be serious for a moment the best reason to not smoke....

This guy right here, now I won't go getting all mushy but c'mon, is he not the cutest kid you have ever seen?!?! and for the record this is not a picture I took out of a new picture frame, this sweet, adorable, angelic creature came straight form my loins and is entirely the reason we are quitting smoking. Koen is the coolest kid I have ever met and I love watching him grow up and learn new things, it is an honor to be a parent. I would like to be a role model for my son and I think that this is certainly a step in the right direction.  

The Weekend

 "Experts" say that when quitting smoking prepare yourself for a period of "mourning", you can become so depressed and upset from not smoking that you actually feel like you have experienced a great loss....For real? okay well I admit at times I feel as though I have lost... my sanity, but do not worry I don't feel the need to go hide in a dark corner and cut my self or hurl my nicotine deprived body over a bridge or anything. So I guess on that note I must be doing pretty good? eh, how 'bout that :) Way to go me, I rule.
But for ceremonial reasons I shall take this time to say goodbye and reflect on all those special ciggies who have accompanied me over the years:

~So long cigarette with morning coffee, you always hit the spot.

~Au revoir  post coitus cig, you were always my favorite.

~Adios, "I've done a good amount of my to do list now I can go have a smoke ciggy", you always felt well deserved.

~Auf Weidersehen, Beer drinking football watching cig, I think I just might miss you most of all, but I hate long good byes so that's all I'm going to say.

 ~Arrivederci, To all my other smokey smokes I know I enjoyed each and every one of you, it's been a good run thanks for hangin'... Now get the hell out before I change my damn mind!

Friday January 14th, 2011

Day 5,

That about sums it up.

Thursday January 13th, 2011

Day 4,

"I love when people in New York City complain about your smoking. Isn't that great? Yeah. These people are standing ankle-deep in dog links, straddling a dead guy, you know. Apparently my cigarette's  f*%#ing up the delicate balance of nature here."

                                                           -Bill Hicks

Ahh Bill, you always have a way with words, thank you for brightening my day with your smart ass cynicism. 

Wednesday January 12th, 2011

Day 3,

Holy bajeezus! just when you think you can't  possibly want a cig anymore than you already do, day 3 stops by to say "Hey There Biatch!" do you ever get that feeling that everyone around you gets to do whatever the  hell they want but YOU! cause I do!  I am finding that everyone gets to smoke but me! for example:

The nuns get to smoke! WTF does God know about that one ladies? Hmm?

            Celebrities are doing it, clearly it didn't pan out so well for ol' Marilyn here...anyways moving on 

                                               

Jolly fat men are doing it? Santa! even you?!?!

They are doing it in groups, and even the children are getting in on it...he is surprisingly good at it isn't he?..weird

                              Fairies are thinking about doing it

She gets to do it while clipping coupons! COUPONS!

Are you getting my point I could go on but I feel that this joke is getting old now, point is everyone else is doing it....(long pause for dramatic effect) "But Me"

Tuesday January 11th, 2011

Day 2,

...Why did I get out of bed?, oh yeah, cause I have s@#! to do. But for the record I didn't want to. Unless a flying monkey dressed as a bell hop brought me some smokes and a pumpkin spice latte (Don't judge me, I'm in a fragile state) OK  am I being a bit melodramatic? maybe? but clearly I don't care. Today is not shaping up to be good at all, I imagine this pitty party will be an all nighter so come prepared and if your not packing cigs, well, you know where the door is...

Monday January 10th, 2011

Day 1,
My day has started the same as any other day, head down stairs to get my morning cup of joe but.....oh now wait a minute! hold the phone! this is nothing like a regular morning I have my coffee in hand but no a.m. ciggy to accompany it! oh damn! and it begins, life as I have known it shall forever be different. I have yet to decide if this is a postive change? I suppose health wise it will be...eventually, but as for now my world has began a plummet into utter darkness spiraling into fits of rage and the urge to clean like no one except a pregnant women could possibly understand. So now the key is to find coping methods....ok well normally in this type of tense situation I would have a cig but no no I can't do that. So now I must change up my normal routine and instead of having my smokey smoke time I will instead type like crazy to keep these fingers from attempting anything naughty like smoking.  I really do want to quit, do not let my sarcasm and anger fool you I am not being forced in any way, this is by all accounts my own doing....and that of my husband whom is also in this non smoking hellish limbo with me, poor guy, but hey if it's worth doing then its worth doing together so you can both share in the misery...
So we stumble down the non-smokers road to the unknown where will it lead? one can only hope it leads to a magical land where cigarettes are good for you, and that smoking them will make you look younger, thinner and create world peace, maybe in this enchanted realm I will be regarded as that of higher intelligence, and a master of Kung-Fu....ya never know?